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Funny Sayings



If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him.
- Drew Barrymore (1998)

When I walk into a bookstore, I want to see my picture on the cover of every magazine, like Leonardo DiCaprio.
- Brandy

I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.
- Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stone, December 2, 1976.

With all due respect to the world's great drummers - it ain't brain surgery.
- Mickey Dolenz, 1996

Our bodies are just temporary vessels for our souls, which will go on forever. You really are an extension of the power that created the whole universe, no matter what drags you have on.
- Ru Paul

If I hadn't been a woman, I'd have been a drag queen.
- Dolly Parton

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I wanted to perform, I wanted to write songs, and I wanted to get lots of chicks.
- hJames Taylor, when asked why he got into music

The biggest misconception people have about me is that I'm stupid.
- Billy Idol

Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Rachel Welch to the back of a bus. .
- Boy George

People used to throw rocks at me because of my clothes. Now they wanna know where I buy them.
- Cyndi Lauper

The whole business is built on ego, vanity, self-satisfaction, and it's total crap to pretend it's not..
- George Michael

I don't listen to music. I hate all music.
- Johnny Rotten (Sex Pistols)

Boy George makes me sick. .
- Madonna

Anybody that walks can sing..
- Michael Stipe (REM)

Oh no, no regrets at all. My mom even says it now. It took her about ten years, but I've heard her say it two or three times now. .
- Paul Leary (Butthole Surfers)

I try not to repeat myself. It's the hardest thing in the world to do - there are only so many notes one human being can master. .
- Prince

I do my best work when I'm in pain and turmoil.
- Sting

A rock 'n' roll band needs to be able to get under people's skin. You should be able to clear the room at the drop of a hat. .
- Paul Westerberg (The Replacements) (on the use of umlauts over the O and U of Motley Crue)
More Funny Sayings...

We didn't think about its proper use. We just wanted something to be weird, and the umlaut is very visual. It's German and strong, and that Nazi Germany mentality - "the future belongs to us" - intrigued me. .
- Nikki Sixx

I wanted a name that would put us first in the phone directory, or second if you count ABBA... .
- Martin Fry

"My audience loves to see Britney get her head cut off.".
- Alice Cooper

A dream is like a river ever changing as it flows, and a dreamer's just a vessel that must follow where it goes.
- Garth Brooks, The River

A man, like clay, is molded by his surroundings, he starts to take shape of the beatings and the pounding.
- Biohazard, Urban Discipline

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
- The Beatles, The End

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
- Semisonic, Closing Time

Fear is the lock and laughter the key to your heart.
- Crosby, Stills, and Nash, Suite: Judy Blue Eyes

For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels, and not the words of one who kneels.
- Paul Anka; Frank Sinatra; Elvis Presley, My Way

Freedom, well, that's just some people talking. Your prison is walking through this world all alone.
- The Eagles, Desperado

Get your head out of the mud, baby. Put flowers in the mud, baby.
- U2, Zooropa .

Dirty/funny birthday cards are cool
- Some random dude

Heard ten thousand whispering and nobody listening. Heard one person starve, I heard many people laughing. Heard the song of a poet who died in the gutter.
- Bob Dylan, A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall

Hero, not the handsome actor who plays a hero's role, hero-not the glamour girl who'd love to sell her soul.
- Rush, Nobody's Hero

How many ears must one man have before he can hear people cry? Yes, and how many deaths will it take 'til he knows that too many people have died?
- Bob Dylan; Peter, Paul, and Mary, Blowin' In The Wind

I got a lot to say, I got a lot to say, I got a lot to say. I can't remember now, I can't remember now, I can't remember now.
- Ramones, Got Alot To Say

I said, baby, do you have no shame? She just looked at me, uncomprehendingly, like cows at a passing train.
- Don Henley, If Dirt Were Dollars

I understand about indecision, but I don't care if I get behind. People living in competition, all I want is to have my peace of mind.
- Boston, Peace Of Mind

I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth.
- The Who, Substitute

I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.
- Bob Dylan; The Byrds, My Back Pages

I'd rather be a hammer than a nail.
- Simon and Garfunkel, El Condor Pasa

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.
- Billy Joel, Only The Good Die Young

If we were blind and had no choice, would we hate each other by the tone of our voice?
- Anthrax, Schism

If we weren't all crazy we would go insane.
- Jimmy Buffett, Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes.

If you believe in forever, then life is just a one night stand. If there's a rock and roll heaven, well, you know they got a hell of a band.
- The Righteous Brothers, Rock And Roll Heaven

If you smile at me I will understand, cause that is something everybody everywhere does in the same language.
- Crosby, Stills, and Nash, Wooden Ships

I'm not a number. Dammit, I'm a man.
- Bob Seger, Feel Like A Number

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no Senator's son, son. It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one.
- Creedence Clearwater Revival, Fortunate Son .

The Funny Sayings on this site are the property of their respective creators and we don't claim any copyright for them. We've made efforts to use the quotes correctly, and under the guises of public domain/fair use. If you know of any funny sayings on our cards that are in breach of copyright, please email us and tell us why, then we will remove them.

David Viscott: Inspirational Weight Loss Quotes You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be. Eleanor Roosevelt: Inspirational Weight Loss Quotes You must do the thing you think you cannot do. George Bernard Shaw: Inspirational Weight Loss Quotes You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?" Ralph Marston: Inspirational Weight Loss Quotes Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.

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