Home
Cards
   - Funny
   - Inspirational
   - Friends & Family
   - Artistic
Party Invitations
Quotes
   - Friendship
   - Funny Sayings
      - Funny Sayings 1
      - Funny Sayings 2
      - Funny Sayings 3
      - Funny Sayings 4
      - Funny Sayings 5
      - Funny Sayings 6
      - Funny Sayings 7
      - Funny Sayings 8
      - Funny Sayings 8
      - Funny Sayings 10
      - Funny Sayings 11
      - Funny Sayings 12
      - Funny Sayings 13
      - Funny Sayings 14
      - Funny Sayings 15
      - Funny Sayings 16
      - Funny Sayings 17
      - Funny Sayings 18
      - Funny Sayings 19
   - Love
Contact

Funny Sayings



"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

"Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street."
- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
- Frank Zappa

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
- Antoine de Saint Exupery

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
- Isaac Asimov

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."
- Carl Sagan

"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts."
- G. B. Burgin

"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action."
- Auric Goldfinger, in "Goldfinger" by Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance"
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Dirty/funny birthday cards are cool
- Some random dude

"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens."
- Jimi Hendrix

"A clever man commits no minor blunders."
- Goethe (1749-1832)

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours."
- Richard Bach

"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)

"Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera."
- James Stephens (1882-1950)

"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault."
- Henry Kissinger (1923-)

"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."
- Will Durant

"I have often regretted my speech, never my silence."
- Xenocrates (396-314 B.C.)

"It was the experience of mystery - even if mixed with fear - that engendered religion."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
- Mario Andretti

"I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure - that is all that agnosticism means."
- Clarence Darrow, Scopes trial, 1925.

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
- Henry Ford (1863-1947)

"I'll sleep when I'm dead."
- Warren Zevon (1947-2003)

"There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread."
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

"When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head."
- Jean Cocteau (1889-1963)

"Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together."
- Georg Lichtenberg (1742-1799)

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it"
- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

"While we are postponing, life speeds by."
- Seneca (3BC-65AD)

"Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?"
- Bumper Sticker

"God, please save me from your followers!"
- Bumper Sticker

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

"Luck is the residue of design."
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

"Wit is educated insolence."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
- Socrates (470-399 B.C.)

"Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."
- Gore Vidal

The Funny Sayings on this site are the property of their respective creators and we don't claim any copyright for them. We've made efforts to use the quotes correctly, and under the guises of public domain/fair use. If you know of any funny sayings on our cards that are in breach of copyright, please email us and tell us why, then we will remove them.

Henry Ford: Chance Quotes Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently. Laurence Peter: Chance Quotes Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. Kahlil Gibran: Chance Quotes Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

Cards | Party Invitations | Cards of the Week | Links | Contact